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She was blonde, full figured, outgoing, and outspoken with a saucy southern accent and friendly, expressive manner.Two of my younger male relatives have recently been engaged to white women, and one tied the knot last summer.
I have even dated outside of my racial group, and I married someone who isn't black -- a Native American man (with, I must add, distant French and African ancestry).
But this collection of happily ever after stories does not mean that love is blind.
It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.
Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.
The driving force is, instead, my awareness of all of the (straight) African American women -- beautiful, smart, good women, some of them my own family and friends -- who might not have a honey to bring home this Thanksgiving holiday because they cannot find a date, even as rising numbers of eligible African American men will be wooing white women. Individuals would choose each other for kindness, intelligence, perseverance, courage, and a host of other mysterious reasons that make attraction so magical.
Race and the characteristics that have come to represent it -- like skin color, eye color, and hair texture -- would not be factors in matters of the heart.Whiteness has been a privileged and prized identity in the U. So when black men select white women and de-select black women, they are doing so in a context of charged racial meanings. Some of the people I admire and respect most in my professional life are black men married to white women and white women married to black men.These relationships are caring and genuine, and surely bring happiness to the individuals involved in them.She was blonde, thin, big-bosomed, and even had a Germanic name.She was probably very nice; but I cannot say for sure.White men can therefore afford to be the pickiest group in the online dating market; they respond to fewer overtures than other men on dating websites, and they have a strong preference for white women.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating